YouWriteOn: A Review of My Reviews

I’m no genius. My day job as a computer programmer reminds me of this often. Ask me to explain code I wrote a month ago. “I dunno, I don’t remember how it works, it just works.” There’s also the time I took one of those online IQ tests, which measured my IQ at 90. I don’t think that number is right. Besides, who cares how many rectangles there are in the dumb picture! Anyway . . .

Despite my inability to claim the title “genius”, I have been writing poetry, short stories, and fiction for a long time, and in the process, I have learned every word, every sentence counts. If it doesn’t strengthen the piece, it doesn’t belong. So, when I submitted my short story, "Steve", for review on www.YouWriteOn.com, I was pretty happy with each and every word, and I was also confident the story would be lifted up by my peers like a wide receiver who just scored the winning touch down. Turns out, I was wrong.

To give you some background, "Steve", is a satirical story about a dreng from the planet Drengle whose mouth is in his stomach and whose stomach is in his right thigh. He’s faxed himself to earth so he can study for his Largu (a dreng version of a master’s thesis) titled, "Human’s and Space Travel: So Close Yet So Far Away". Please click here if you would like to read the entire story.

Here are some of the reviews I received, along with my commentary:

Reviewer 1: I did think that maybe it is a bit too simplistic for the typical, jaded SF reader, but mainstream readers would probably like it more. I don’t know if you read a lot of science fiction or not, but it is quite a sophisticated genre, and really to write SF well, you need to have read a lot of it!

Me: Ah, good point. Simplistic, yes. My science fiction is for the “normal” reader who likes scifi without all the techie whizbangs.

Reviewer 2: I found this lively, amusing at times, and well written and told. I wasn't sure that Steve's reason to visit was very convincing. Found myself asking whether that is all there is to your story.

Me: Lively, well-written. Okay. Amusing “at times”? What does that mean? I thought it was amusing—period. And yes, that’s all there is!

Reviewer 3: . . . it is a pleasant and mildly amusing read.

Me: Again. “Mildly” amusing? Amusing “at times”?!

Reviewer 4: The overwhelming problem with this story is that it is totally implausible . . . because Steve—by your bodily description of him—is so grossly different in appearance and anatomy from any human being that it would be impossible for him to be accepted by any human being . . . You need, somehow, to make his differences from human beings very subtle.

Me: What what whaaaat?! The differences aren’t subtle, that’s the whole point! The humans are so dense they don’t even— Oh, never mind.

Reviewer 5: I really enjoyed this story. Right from the beginning it drew me in and I thought it was a really original idea. I thought it was funny, especially Steve's dialogue and the words and terminology used for Steve's world were very creative. I would have liked the story to be longer though and to see more of Steve's study, as his interaction with the humans was hilarious.

Me: Woo hoo!!!

Reviewer 6: I think this is all right. It just needs to be polished a bit.

Me: Pop! (My bubble bursting.)

In all seriousness, I enjoyed the exchange at YouWriteOn, and I appreciate all the people who took the time to review my work. It was interesting to see how people reacted to it. But was the process helpful? I don’t really know. I mean, how much time do I want to spend tinkering with "Steve"? It’s just a short story after all, and a silly one at that. Its silliness is why I like it, and also why I plan to leave it as is. At least for now. (If you can think of a better title, though, I’m all ears.)